Why the absence of is important

I was having dinner with friends in Leland, Michigan, a few weeks ago.  (Ask me about the Leelanau Peninsula anytime. The most beautiful spot in the Midwest).  They had moved to California, and like anyone else that relocates they want you to join them in the migration. In their pitch, they said just imagine 78 degrees and sunny for 88% of the year.  I was kind in my response, which, if not filtered, would have been “I can try to imagine this hell, but it would be hard.” Instead, I quipped like a more learned man than myself might have I said, “What good is the warmth of summer without the cold of winter to give it sweetness.”   This quote by Steinbeck has a much deeper meaning for the way I view life…. The absence of is a good thing.  How precious is the summer day when it arrives? How much do we cherish this as a result of its limited supply? You know that feeling as you shed the outerwear and walk outside on that first real all-blue-sky day. Walking takes on a whole new meaning as you notice the city come back to life. People smile and say hello, and the gratitude awakens in you. It would never be the same without the absence summer takes in our section of the globe. Like everything in life, in my opinion, it is hard to have a deep appreciation of something without knowing its absence. 

The absence of air conditioning in our apartment as a child led to one of my most cherished moments of what were some pretty warm days.  The Summer torrential rainstorm that would appear from nowhere. We lived life outside of the apartment but if we happened to be inside, we ran out to greet this welcomed event. The rain would start lightly, and you could see the steam roll up from the sidewalk.  This created a particular moist humid smell that does not exist anywhere else in nature.  You hear thunder in the distance, and you await what you hope to be a real soaker.   If we were lucky, the rain would come down in such a velocity you were completely drenched in seconds.  The pressure of the rain would hit the streets and lift the layer of oil and grime on them, which created a film over the rainwater that poured into the curbs on the street.  The rainwater would gather in the curbs and take weeks of leaves and cigarette butts flowing like small rapids towards the sewer, which were often overwhelmed and could not drain quickly enough. Sometimes, this would create a whirlpool drain effect, swirling until the sewer could catch up.  The temperature would drop 15 degrees in a matter of minutes and remained lower for hours.  For me, there was something a bit more meaningful as a result of this act of nature.  The city was different immediately after. Renewed and better and ready for what was next. The temperature drop and the freshness from this cleansing changed the mood of its inhabitants and seemed to offer a new energy and hope. The thought of me missing this because we had air conditioning, or the relief was not needed because I lived somewhere where it was the perfect 78 degrees all year long without rain seems horribly boring.

Absence of often leads to some form of struggle. Another very important component to a meaningful life. Struggles are as varied as life itself. Financial, marital, familial, substance abuse, mental illness, freedom, physical illness, on and on.. The beauty of any struggle is the arrival on the other side of the struggle.  What has ever been born from the abundance of something? I might be simplifying, but Most of humanity's greatest achievements in the arts, culture and the advancement of civilization come from the struggle.  What beauty has been created by those who had to overcome something, often improving the lives around them through that struggle? Where would we be without Van Gogh or Martin Luther King? Life takes on more meaning, having endured and survived the struggle. It’s not my goal to minimize anything anyone is dealing with, and I wish for anyone in the struggle a speedy positive outcome in that struggle. Regardless you are better for it and just like the sweetness of Summer when it arrives you are more grateful for everything when it arrives.

Our species understands scarcity. Scarcity drives value. Real estate, gold, oil, diamonds. Time, though, is the scarcest commodity there is.  There is no market to trade this in or buy more it is finite.  There is also a beauty in this as well. If you have had the absence of something and have struggled and survived and endured, then time gets more valuable and meaningful to you.

What good is an unlimited supply of time or sun or love or money not knowing and understanding the absence of these things?  Not having everything is good. Having struggled and endured is great. There is not a greater way to enjoy the scarcest resource than a life lived through the absence of and the struggle for something.  

Embrace it all.